Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
