Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
