I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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