you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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