Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(815): View more from Illinois

I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

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(281): View more from Texas

well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"

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(352): View more from Florida

Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

(1-352): View more from Florida

What?

(352): View more from Florida

Just dont open the beer drawer.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.

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(815): View more from Illinois

HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Wish me luck on my new penis adventure

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