Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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