i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
