he thought i was a dude.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
