I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
