These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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