So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
