We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
