I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
did you just send me my own nude
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
