i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
