This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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