So drunk its hurt
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
