he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
