I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
