the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
