I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
