I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
