how can u be prego again
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize