matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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