is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
