This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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