Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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