I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is my gift to your gina
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize