yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like eating out sand paper
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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