Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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