Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are we still banned from the library?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
