look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
sex in a hospital.. check
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
