CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
