one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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