Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
