Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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