I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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