Already got asked if we're dating
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
