Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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