There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
