In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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