covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
