At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
