I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
