If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
