oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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