That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
