Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
