..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
