Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
