The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
