Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
