just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
