Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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