No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize