Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize