He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wanna go halves on a baby?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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