Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
