I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have fence marks all over my body
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
