i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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