Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
