I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
