I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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