This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
